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‘Our Tests Show The Water In East Palestine Is Safe For Drinking,’ Says Official With Gills And Glowing Yellow Eyes

by Index Investing News
February 16, 2023
in Opinion
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‘Our Tests Show The Water In East Palestine Is Safe For Drinking,’ Says Official With Gills And Glowing Yellow Eyes

February 16, 2023   |   Tags: BABYLON BEE, SATIRE

‘Our Tests Show The Water In East Palestine Is Safe For Drinking,’ Says Official With Gills And Glowing Yellow Eyes

EAST PALESTINE, OH — Amid growing concerns about the risks residents could be facing due to pollution of the air, soil, and water after the catastrophic February 3rd train derailment and subsequent toxic chemical release, officials were quick to assure the public that test results indicate the water in the area is fine to drink, despite these same officials developing alarming physical abnormalities overnight.

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