‘Our Tests Show The Water In East Palestine Is Safe For Drinking,’ Says Official With Gills And Glowing Yellow Eyes
February 16, 2023 | Tags: BABYLON BEE, SATIRE
EAST PALESTINE, OH — Amid growing concerns about the risks residents could be facing due to pollution of the air, soil, and water after the catastrophic February 3rd train derailment and subsequent toxic chemical release, officials were quick to assure the public that test results indicate the water in the area is fine to drink, despite these same officials developing alarming physical abnormalities overnight.
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