“Trump says the paperwork the F.B.I. took from Mar-a-Lago are lined by his white privilege — wait, excuse me, I imply his govt privilege.” — DESUS NICE
“Additionally they confiscated 8,000 McRibs, 9 Melania clones, one never-been-used Peloton, two tons of industrial-grade ranch dressing, ‘Ladies Gone Wild’ volumes 8 via 19 — ay, yo! — Lindsey Graham’s testicles.” — DESUS NICE
“Let me simply break down Trump’s protection: He says the F.B.I. planted pretend proof to border him, and now he needs them to return the pretend proof. Even O.J. is like, ‘Yo, bro, you wildin.’” — DESUS NICE
“Right here’s the factor Donald Trump doesn’t perceive: He doesn’t personal these paperwork. They belong to his former employer, america authorities. See, that’s not how jobs work. Once you get fired from an workplace, you don’t get to take the Xerox machine house with you. After I bought fired from Showtime, they didn’t let me carry house the forged of ‘Shameless.’” — DESUS NICE
“And individuals are saying, ‘What’s the large deal a few president maintaining categorised paperwork at his home?’ As a result of his home is a golf resort! It has a seafood buffet on Wednesday nights. Come on. That is like if Obama left the nuclear codes at Crimson Lobster.” — DESUS NICE
