As a substitute of letting poisonous social media comparisons steal your pleasure, dealer Pam Blair writes, embrace what makes you totally different.
Flip up the amount in your actual property success at Inman On Tour: Nashville! Join with business trailblazers and top-tier audio system to realize highly effective insights, cutting-edge methods, and invaluable connections. Elevate your enterprise and obtain your boldest objectives — all with Music Metropolis magic. Register now.
“Comparability is the thief of pleasure.” — Theodore Roosevelt
It’s 6 p.m. I’m drained however blissful as I sink into my sofa. The aroma of selfmade pasta sauce lingers within the air. My canine and I took a protracted, sunny stroll. Each job on my calendar is checked off. It’s time to chill out.
Then, I begin scrolling.
Inside seconds, my temper plummets. A fellow agent twirls in glittering silver pants, celebrating her newest success. Abruptly, my good day feels … much less. Did I do sufficient? Am I sufficient?
Social media works at lightning velocity. A research from MIT discovered that our brains course of photographs in simply 13 milliseconds. That’s how briskly comparability steals our pleasure.
The inevitable entice of comparability
Social comparability is hardwired into us. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparability concept revealed our pure urge to judge ourselves towards others. In actual property — an business constructed on relationships — this tendency is amplified.
There are two varieties of social comparability:
- Upward comparability: Taking a look at these forward of us for inspiration.
- Downward comparability: Taking a look at these behind us to really feel higher about ourselves.
As a lifelong overachiever, I’ve spent years measuring myself towards the perfect and brightest. Typically, it fuels me. Different instances, it drains me.
However at present’s world has modified the sport. Social media has made comparability unavoidable, typically distorting actuality and turning what could possibly be motivation into self-doubt.
The darkish facet of social comparability
Social media offers us curated glimpses of others’ lives, not actuality. This fixed publicity can result in what psychologists name social comparability syndrome — or as some have coined it, obsessive comparability dysfunction.
Signs embrace:
- Low shallowness
- Anxiousness and melancholy
- Envy and resentment
- Emotions of inadequacy
- Physique-image points
- Social isolation
Even in the event you’re not a giant scroller, societal strain is in all places. So how will we preserve comparability from stealing our pleasure?
5 methods to handle social comparability
1. Apply the pause
Earlier than mindlessly scrolling, take a deep breath. Ask your self: Do I actually wish to go down this rabbit gap? A ten-second pause might help you make a acutely aware selection reasonably than an impulsive one.
2. Restrict social media use
Consciousness is essential. Observe how a lot time you spend scrolling. Set a timer if wanted. The objective isn’t to remove social media however to manage its impression in your mindset.
3. Be a creator, not only a shopper
I put up virtually day by day, however I restrict my scrolling to simply 5 posts. This self-discipline lets me interact with out being sucked into the comparability entice.
4. Apply gratitude
Comparability thrives on a not-enough mindset. Gratitude is the antidote. Write down three belongings you’re grateful for day by day. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you could have.
5. Set objectives, and rejoice wins
Clear, practical objectives preserve you grounded in your journey — not another person’s spotlight reel. I create yearly, month-to-month and day by day objectives, protecting a imaginative and prescient board close by for perspective. And after I hit a milestone? I rejoice — whether or not it’s a pleasant dinner or a brand new toy for my canine.
Personal your distinctive path
In an business the place success is usually outlined by numbers, it’s simple to get caught up compared. However actual property isn’t one-size-fits-all. The fantastic thing about this enterprise is that there are infinite methods to succeed.
As a substitute of letting comparability steal your pleasure, embrace what makes you totally different. Carry others up. Have fun your wins. And keep in mind: Your journey is yours alone.
Pam Blair is the broker-owner of YogaBug Actual Property in Portland, Oregon. Join along with her on Instagram or LinkedIn.
