Perceive ANYONE Round You (Together with Your self!) Utilizing One Easy Software

Ashley:
That is Actual Property Rookie, episode 172.

Nick:
And I imply higher. And the individuals round me would’ve had a unique life too. And I feel, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that, that may pay, I can’t even start to inform you. I totally consider that’s my space of ardour for positive.

Ashley:
My title is Ashley Kehr and I’m right here with my co-host Tony Robinson. On this week’s Rookie Reply, we now have a particular visitor for you guys.

Tony:
Such a particular visitor that it nearly felt extra like a remedy session at one level than an everyday Rookie Reply. However right now we now have Nick on the present and Nick is definitely, an enneagram knowledgeable. And whenever you hear enneagram, it’s a persona sort instrument just like the DISC profile or the Myers Briggs. However this one’s a little bit bit completely different and Nick will get into what a few of these variations are and why he feels that this one is definitely, a greater instrument to make use of in your daily life.

Ashley:
Yeah. Nick really, sat down and spent an hour with every Tony and I and went via what our sort construction ought to be so this was one thing that was very new to me. Did you ever do this kind of testing Tony?

Tony:
No. Tyler Madden had talked about it to me that he had gone via this earlier than and bought a variety of worth out of it however this was my first time doing it myself as nicely.

Ashley:
I nonetheless can’t pronounce it accurately. In order you discover via the entire present I keep away from saying the phrase the entire time.

Tony:
Say the phrase now, say it that manner. Let’s simply get-

Ashley:
Enneagram.

Tony:
… woo. There it’s. You’ve bought it.

Ashley:
Is that proper?

Tony:
That’s it.

Ashley:
Okay.

Tony:
Yeah. Enneagram.

Ashley:
Let’s save that. We will insert it into completely different elements of the episode. Okay. So we’re going to convey Nick on and be taught what varieties Tony and I are. And likewise why that is essential, what worth it will probably convey to your life and others. Nick, welcome to the podcast. We’re very pleased to have you ever on Tony and I’ve each talked to you a little bit bit earlier than this episode to get some background. I might love so that you can share with everybody who you’re and why you’re right here right now.

Nick:
Initially, thanks for having me on. I do know this isn’t your regular factor however I feel it’s simply a type of common human issues that’ll make anyone extra profitable within the issues they do and that features what you guys are as much as. I’ve listened to a number of of your podcasts, I don’t know the very first thing about what you’re do. Nicely, I assume I now, know the very first thing about what you’re doing however that’s about it.
I’m an enneagram information, I’ve devoted the final a number of years of my life to it and once I say devoted, I imply perhaps a little bit obsessively and it’s a instrument… One of the best ways to place it’s, it’s a roadmap, a scaffold to know ourselves authentically, and others higher and in a manner that isn’t placing you right into a field and containing who you’re, I feel just a few different of those instruments which can be priceless are inclined to do. In order that’s what I do with my life is, I assist individuals discover their option to get the filters and the masks off of the little silent voices which can be at all times influencing us and that’s via the enneagram.

Ashley:
So what precisely is that?

Nick:
Yeah. Nice query.

Ashley:
Are you able to clarify and break it?

Nick:
No. You all know, don’t you? After all. So enneagram comes via antiquity. It goes all the best way again to monks and the Trappist monks manner again 1200 years in the past, utilizing this factor as a manner of understanding our emotional habits, our focuses, the issues that inspire us after which that enables us to know ourselves really after which perceive others really after which progress from that. And so manner again when all these years in the past, lots of of years in the past, these monks needed to dwell collectively. And I don’t find out about you however dwelling with a bunch of dudes who’ve taken a sure set of vows would most likely, be difficult. And they also discovered that this was a instrument that allowed them to get alongside authentically and fortunately. It was misplaced, it was obscure for lots of years for hundreds of years and bought refound within the nineteenth century and actually delivered to life by some people who’re nonetheless doing it right now as a sorter of personalities however much less that and extra of an understanding and a roadmap of who we’re.

Ashley:
How does this examine to the DISC profile or different persona duties which can be on the market?

Nick:
Thanks a lot for that query as a result of it’s one I’m captivated with. I did all of these issues however I used to be particularly, a Myers Briggs man for a very long time. And man, I nonetheless, I might by no means fault anyone for locating worth in it, it’s extremely priceless. I feel the place it’s priceless is at a sure level on our path and our journey and what I find out about lots of people however what I do know particularly, about this group is that, you guys are actually about self-improvement, actually about rising and never simply staying stagnant. And I feel should you’re a type of sorts of individuals and also you need to develop and it’s important to you that you simply develop the Myers Briggs is on that line at a spot the place perhaps should you don’t perceive what it’s about you that makes you completely different.
I feel the Myers Briggs can inform you actually loudly and actually precisely. I’m an ENFP, I’m emotional, I’m intuitive, I’m a thinker, I’m a perceiver and I do considering earlier than I do judging and I’m an extrovert greater than I’m an introvert. And so you can begin to actually perceive who you’re. However as you hear me say all that, you additionally hear me placing these bins round issues. You’re listening to me say, “You’re an introvert and never an extrovert, you’re this, you’re not that.” And I feel there’s a containment that occurs there that’s actually good for letting us perceive our tendencies and our behaviors. The enneagram speaks to our emotional habits, that’s my favourite phrase the place we go emotionally. We’re actually, if we’re paying consideration, normally fairly good at realizing our habits however not our emotional habits.
The place can we land emotionally simply out of behavior? And the enneagram additionally speaks to our priorities, our driving feelings after which it’s via that. It says, “Nicely, since you are inclined to function extra out of worry than anger as an example, you are inclined to go this fashion,” however the enneagram means that you can say, I’m this sort of ENFP. It’s about you, the person so you possibly can put these issues collectively, I’m a Myers Briggs ENFP however I’m an enneagram seven and that’s the form of ENFP I’m. And it’s extra about who you’re and fewer about what you do.

Tony:
Simply from my very own private data, what are you on the Myers Briggs?

Nick:
An ENFP.

Tony:
Yeah. [crosstalk 00:06:53]. Bought you. What about you, Ashley?

Nick:
[crosstalk 00:06:56].

Ashley:
I don’t know.

Tony:
Oh, you’ve by no means taken it earlier than?

Ashley:
I’ve by no means taken it. No, I’ve carried out the DISC profile however I’ve by no means taken the Myers Briggs.

Tony:
Okay. What are you on the DISC profile?

Ashley:
I don’t even keep in mind.

Nick:
I don’t know anymore both.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:07:03].

Tony:
Ashley, you’re no hope. So on the Myers-

Ashley:
Okay. I’m going to look it up actual fast.

Tony:
… yeah. We’ve bought to get… I feel it’ll be cool to have this as a part of the dialog too however on Myers Briggs, I’m an INTJ. I don’t actually keep in mind what all these letters stand for nevertheless it’s just like the engineer or the scientist or one thing like that’s what they name it. On the DISC profile, I do know I’m a very excessive C after which decrease on the D and the I. So that you see some similarities whenever you have a look at a few of these completely different persona assessments and I do see a variety of the identical character traits within the enneagram as I noticed in my examples of the Myers Briggs or the DISC profile. However what I need to dig into Nick, and perhaps if we will set the desk for the listeners right here is, the Myers Briggs talks, are you intuitive versus judging versus this versus that. The DISC is decisive and cautious and I can’t keep in mind what the opposite ones are. What are the completely different, I don’t know… I assume, classes of the enneagram that individuals’s personalities and motivations et cetera, fall into?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks for the query. I feel it’s actually basically the distinction, is you’re speaking about these in each these programs within the Myers Briggs and the DISC and others which can be on the market, that it’s about, “Do you lean this fashion or do you lean that manner? Are you extra of a follower or extra of a pacesetter?” And positively, these issues are endemic to the 9 several types of the enneagram. And once more, enneagram is, ennea is the 9 half should you’re into Latin, I’m not. However there are 9 persona varieties and fewer persona varieties and I take advantage of that phrase to attempt to relate to the Myers Briggs and stuff nevertheless it’s actually about these archetypes of sure sorts of people. And people sorts of, once more, motivational, what motivates you and the place your emotional habits are.
So for instance, I’m a seven and sevens are motivated… So we’re a part of the worry triad. So that you’re both motivated by worry or anger or your coronary heart and as a part of the worry triad, I are usually an anxious individual, I don’t are usually an offended individual. In actual fact, I battle in conditions the place I ought to be offended, really, accessing it and doing that however I’m at all times anxious. Now, a seven goes to cope with that by instantly reframing it, discovering a silver lining in, “Life’s good, life’s pleased, we’re at all times constructive and optimistic.” And from the skin, we have a tendency to only look that manner whereas somebody proper subsequent to me, who’s an eight, so proper close to me on the enneagram is anger primarily based.
And so when issues come of their life which can be difficult, they struggle it, they get their defend, they get their sword they usually’re bought to go struggle that factor. So it’s actually about that motivation. So you concentrate on what I simply mentioned and the complexity of it and the way you’d parse that out into these little classes of ENFP or these different issues in DISC. How would you try this? We’re speaking about elementary driving feelings in you. The place does that land in Myers Briggs, the place does that land in DISC? And I feel they are often complimentary however that’s the basic distinction, I feel.

Ashley:
Simply earlier than we transfer on actual fast, I did take a minute to look this up. In keeping with the Tony Robbins DISC profile as evaluation, to not be confused with Tony Robinson DISC profile evaluation, I’m a excessive, I.

Nick:
Is sensible.

Tony:
I feel that’s what I preferred in regards to the enneagram too Nick, is that, such as you mentioned, the Myers Briggs or the DISC, it talks quite a bit about the way you act however the enneagram was extra so, “Hey, right here’s why you act that manner,” which I feel is a little bit bit extra instructive as a result of should you perceive your personal motivations, I feel it means that you can do a greater job of being extra self conscious and controlling these weaknesses in your personalities a little bit bit higher. I don’t know. Are there different advantages to the enneagram that I’m lacking? Or would you say that’s the true massive factor that’s the driving force there?

Nick:
Yeah. I feel you nailed the middle of it however I feel the piece that we perhaps aren’t speaking about as a lot right here that I feel particularly, to your viewers is an enormous deal, is how that includes itself whenever you begin interacting with different individuals whether or not that’s private or skilled, man or man. To me, essentially the most liberating a part of it’s that means to totally authentically, perceive others. What are we at all times instructed? That essentially the most empathetic factor you are able to do is put your self in another person’s sneakers, you place your self of their sneakers and we try this of out of nice goodwill if we’re being good individuals, we strive. Nicely, should you try this, you’re simply placing your self of their sneakers so your entire biases, all of your life expertise, your entire emotional habits and you then go put your self of their sneakers and say, “Nicely, okay, I perceive why they,” no, you don’t. You perceive how you’d be in that scenario and the enneagram permits you to really, perceive them of their sneakers.
And I feel a type of issues particularly, in enterprise partnerships the place issues will be actually perhaps rather less emotionally open, hopefully not however generally. Generally issues can really feel like, “Nicely, if I mentioned that, if I did that, it might be as a result of I used to be actually mad, it might be as a result of I didn’t give a crap, it might be due to these,” however perhaps should you perceive this individual’s sort construction, you perceive that’s in no way what they’re doing, their motivations are simply completely different than yours. You’re a visionary, they’re an in depth individual so after they begin stating the small print which can be going to collapse, they’re not choosing aside your dream. They’re making an attempt that can assist you perceive, right here’s some stuff that may go flawed. That form of stuff so I feel the opposite worth is in groups and in relationships, each enterprise {and professional}.

Ashley:
So we talked about the way it’s essential to take heed to your self from studying about your habits and what sort of individual you’re so that you will be extra aware of your habits and the way you work together with individuals. However you touched a little bit bit about relationships and speaking with different individuals whether or not on their group. So do you ask individuals to go get this testing carried out or do you memorize all these varieties after which try to determine what sort they’re? How do you greatest method that as to determining what somebody’s sort is as a way to work together with them appropriately?

Nick:
Man, what a terrific query. One of many cardinal sins for individuals in what I do is that you simply by no means sort any person, it’s best to by no means ever say, “Oh, you’re an eight and I do know that so da, da, da,” as a result of that’s simply a lot placing any person in a field as something. However there could be a stage of consciousness and so ideally, yeah, Ashley. You’ll should you have been on a group, I feel it’d be extremely priceless to get everyone to go at the very least do a tertiary prime stage view and get some notion of what sort construction they is perhaps and share that should you’re on a group that I promise you, the payoff for that’s going to be manner larger only for a day or an hour of studying.
What you’ll see come out of that on a group, I feel can be greater than you may presumably think about. That mentioned, as you undergo your life you possibly can’t simply encounter every individual and be like, “Right here’s a check. I would like you to take this.” However should you spend a while in it even should you’re simply spend time on you and your sort construction, we’re all in numerous methods, we’re all of the enneagram numbers. You’ll be able to’t be fully divorced from any a part of it ultimately, the enneagram is the entire human expertise. And so that you begin to get a way should you meet any person who, man, it simply appears like each time you convey one thing up, they simply need to struggle you and it looks like they like preventing you and never simply you, everyone. They only at all times need to struggle.
And people form of individuals you possibly can suppose, “Man, what a jerk,” most likely, somebody who’s an eight you don’t know. However from that, you possibly can actually begin understanding the explanation they’re that manner is as a result of they actually care. Eights deep at their core, are essentially the most mushy jelly loving individuals and however they’re tremendous delicate and their manner of coping with that and ensuring that everyone that they care about whether or not it’s on a piece group or a household, they’re going to go struggle. And so should you can see it for what it’s you then’ll see it for that versus “Man, what a jerk,” you’ll see them preventing for a factor they care about. And so to that finish if you can begin to get that sense, you can begin really, understanding individuals who aren’t such as you.

Ashley:
So you will need to not solely perceive your personal sort however to have an understanding of the opposite varieties as a way to have a look at any person and say, “They might be this sort,” and that may be extra useful than simply memorizing what your sort is and realizing that. However getting some data and understanding of others is the place you’re going to get the true profit.

Nick:
Yeah. I might say you possibly can break it into two elements. I might additionally say I might transfer from memorizing to having a relationship with who you’re since you actually begin to perceive that individual. And I feel that’s a part of the ability of it versus a few of these different persona problems the place, “I’m an ENFP,” it is a relationship with your self. So at that half and you may simply try this and also you’ll be a greater individual to everyone you encounter, you’ll be extra profitable in each certainly one of your interactions and within the stuff you do. You simply received’t have the filters and the silent voices you’re not conscious of impacting that. And you may simply try this and I feel that’d be extremely useful however, yeah. In the event you really need the max advantage of it, understanding the opposite varieties and understanding at the very least the categories, the people who find themselves actually shut in your life, simply on that stage, suppose that’s a tremendous alternative to actually flip up the dial on, on what you’re able to doing with others.

Tony:
So Nick, not solely did we convey you right here to teach our listeners on the enneagram however you additionally spend a while with Ash and I individually, attending to know us a little bit bit and determining which of these 9 numbers we fell into. And I don’t find out about for you Ash, however nearly it felt like a little bit bit like a remedy session. There was a variety of deep, very pointed questions.

Ashley:
Yeah. That was the precise… I texted my pal proper after I used to be like, “I feel I simply had a remedy session.”

Tony:
So Nick, I feel Ash and I might each love if we may share with the listeners what variety of class we fell into after which simply have a dialogue round what precisely that quantity entails and simply have a fluid dialogue round it.

Nick:
Positive. And simply to kick it off, that typing interview is so completely different than the work you’d do when you’re typed. And I completely, it’s like I mentioned it to each of you, it’s like a police, you’ve bought the sunshine on you and it’s like an interrogation and it’s intense. So thanks each for doing that with me. I actually respect it.

Ashley:
Nicely, the questions are arduous. You actually have to consider your self.

Nick:
Yeah. So thanks for doing that. I respect you taking the time and being so open. I feel what we landed on for each of you which ones is admittedly fascinating to me is an enneagram sort construction of six. Ashley, there was a little bit bit extra ambiguity with as a result of you may have a variety of that seven power. I’m a seven so it takes one to know one. And I feel what’s fascinating about that although and I used to be hypothesizing with each of you if I’m wondering if in communities of individuals like this, who’re pushed to make their lives higher and to seek out safety that you simply’re going to come across extra sixes, I don’t know. And right here’s why, sixes as a sort construction, their behavior of my is doubt. Doubt about, and once more, we return to that is your root stage.
All of us work to turn out to be higher and never let this stuff personal us however sixes, have a tendency to seek out themselves doubting issues after which looking for a option to think about these issues. So sixes can also have essentially the most religion out of any sort construction relying on the place they’re. And their driving emotion is, as I discussed earlier, worry. So doubt and worry and also you’re beginning to hear these phrases. I’m going to day out for one second and inform you one other factor I like in regards to the enneagram. It actually doesn’t pat you on the again, it doesn’t say you’re superb as a result of it just about is available in and says, “Right here’s what’s most likely, a problem for you.” And the enjoyable a part of working in your sort construction is decreasing the impression of that however, yeah. As I proceed to speak to you right here in entrance of all of your listeners, I’m most likely, going to inform the issues that don’t sound like rah, rah and that’s simply the character of the enneagram. That’s simply how it’s.
However your focus of attentions as a six is to seek out the hazards and so that is all of the unhealthy stuff however right here’s the factor that makes sixes so basically superb is that they’ve an nearly supernatural means to do this, to seek out the hazards on the earth, see them coming, get a plan collectively to both mitigate it or fully keep away from it. And try this particularly, for his or her small circle of individuals, that’s typically their household, their precise literal, household. However sixes additionally make households out of the individuals they need to however they do that as a lot or extra for these individuals as they do for themselves. And should you see a six at work, actually doing their factor, it’s supernatural. They will simply see all of it coming and plan and have it found out earlier than it will get there.
So I felt a variety of that from each of you. After which after listening to a few of your podcasts, it’s clear that you simply’re simply doing that each day which is why I’m wondering in case your viewers is overrepresented with sixes however, yeah. I feel each of you’re there. If I can simply pradal on a little bit longer Ashley, I feel on the enneagram numbers, like I mentioned, we’re linked to all of them however we’re linked to outdoors of our particular sort construction for in stronger methods. So we now have a quantity will slide to in stress or some individuals say dis integration and a quantity we slide to after we’re extra calm, integration, some individuals say after which we now have wings. So the wings are simply, you’re going to lean to the suitable or the left.
In the event you’re a six, you would possibly lean 5, should you’re six, you would possibly lean seven. And I actually really feel Tony, you lean heavy to the 5 which is the engineer as you talked about. My brother’s a 5, he actually sends satellites into area. He owns a satellite tv for pc firm after which the sevens are me, simply an excessive amount of power and I simply make everyone uncomfortable. So it’s that power of positivity and all that and Ashley actually talked about trying to the long run which is such a seven factor to do, is to have constructive plans on the books to have a constructive spin on issues. If issues begin getting disturbing, sure, sevens stress they’re ain’t anxious identical to sixes however they go someplace with that. It’s extra constructive, attempt to hold it optimistic after which fives are these thinkers and I don’t suppose both of you’re a 5 or a seven however you undoubtedly, lean that manner. And I feel what’s actually fascinating is how that reveals up between the 2 of you.

Ashley:
That’s why we make the perfect group as cohost.

Tony:
So, Nick, I need to discuss a little bit bit about a number of the limitations or not limitations however a number of the persona quirks that perhaps make it a little bit bit harder for sixes as a result of as I used to be studying, I feel that was the half that jumped out to me. So we talked about a number of the shrainings of being a six however what are a number of the limitations and the way can Ash and I mitigate a few of these in our daily lives?

Nick:
Thanks. That’s a terrific query. What’s fascinating about sixes is, the quantity I can consider, the kind construction on the enneagram that’s the most, their dichotomy, their strengths or their weaknesses and that’s so not often the case. Sixes are hypervigilant, finish of story. And that’s what makes them so superb at making ready and planning for his or her lives and seeing issues via and doing that. You already know what else it does is, it will get of their manner, the anxiousness, the interested by all these issues that may go flawed, it will probably result in pessimism, it will probably result in doubt. It may well result in these sorts of issues which… And so they can begin to spin. So the factor that makes them superb at being them can also be the factor that holds them again and in relationships, together with and particularly, skilled relationships can simply decelerate the prepare, can get caught and mired in that area.
And so they can also get they’re involved with loyalty and to allow them to discover themselves in a distrusting place. And I feel, boy, anytime you’re going to do one thing massive in your life, In the event you’re going to begin a brand new partnership with any person, all of us have hesitancy as a result of it’s an enormous deal. However my goodness, in case you are so wrapped up within the thought, “If I can belief this individual, will they be loyal, dah, dah, dah,” that may maintain you again from a variety of issues.
And people are some main challenges that sixes face and likewise there can often, be a self-doubt piece that comes into that. In the event you ever are blindsided by one thing as a six, man or man, can that land like a, “How did I not see this coming? How did I not, I’ve this superpower?” And that may actually be a result in self-doubt as nicely. And I feel the superb factor about progress within the enneagram versus progress via different instruments is, you’re not addressing the truth that you’re too introverted or no matter, you’re addressing the truth that,”Man, right here’s this massive factor that I’m at all times targeted on and the way is that impacting the best way I see every little thing.” And so getting out of that may be actually highly effective.

Ashley:
What are some instruments and assets that we will go to learn to, we’re a sort six however we need to be the perfect sort six we will be?

Nick:
Yeah. I despatched you guys, hopefully you possibly can submit some hyperlinks and issues. To me, the authority the place I’ve carried out the vast majority of my studying because the narrative within the enneagram, they’re the OGs, if you’ll, of the enneagram they usually’re passionate, they hold updating not simply their terminologies however their methods of interested by it. You heard me say a pair instances all through this, “Oh, some individuals use this verbiage and a few individuals use that.” They’re at all times actually interested by how, they’re by no means carried out they usually don’t suppose they’ve it found out. And I feel that’s actually superb and I’ve carried out a variety of stuff there. So the narrativeenneagram.com, there’s two books that basically kicked off my journey that change my life and that’s The Path Again to You and The Street Between Us or I may need gotten the trail and the highway inverted on that nevertheless it’s one thing about roads.
And so The Street Again to You and The Path Between Us, it’s written by a few pastors which is simply from that perspective they’re in no way… It’s not from the attitude of that religion however it’s, it’s their life expertise, it’s their realized expertise. And they also share the way it works of their world so these are nice locations to begin. After which I actually really feel like there’s a lot you are able to do with studying and assessments and issues however there’s simply actually no alternative for speaking to any person. So clearly, me and folks like me who can sit down and actually work with you and your particular person, your sort construction and understanding it after which lessening its impression.

Ashley:
Let me ask you this, so after you talked with us and we recognized our sort construction, did you come into this interview realizing or having a plan, how you can work together with us primarily based on our sort construction? And what does that appear to be, what’s one of the simplest ways to work together with a six?

Nick:
You already know what’s fascinating? That’s a terrific query, thanks. Sure and no, is the reply. Understanding sort buildings simply robotically, as quickly as you, should you’ve been shortly and also you’ve invested in it, you perceive a six and so I feel simply robotically, we’ll return to the Myers Briggs right here. My N, means I’m intuitive so that you’re both intuitive or considering. So upon getting the understanding, I feel you do on some stage shift, the best way you communicate. I actually, am not speaking to you the best way I discuss to a one or a 3 however I don’t suppose it adjustments the underlying, it’s perhaps simply talking a barely completely different language. And I feel for sixes, it’s letting perhaps a little bit bit extra of me out personally. As a result of sixes need to know they will belief you, sixes need to know that you simply’re a human being on this world with them.
If I got here in like a one and one particularly, are very element oriented, they’ve a really loud interior critic they usually search for every little thing that could possibly be flawed and so completely different than sixes who search for issues that might go flawed. And if I began doing that and bringing that power, I feel there’s a variety of, that may make you guys really feel rather less comfy. So I feel it goes again to that factor we talked about, should you perceive different varieties you possibly can simply be of their area with them in a manner that’s a little bit extra genuine.

Tony:
Yeah. I’m considering as you have been speaking, Nick and it’s like, I really feel like I ought to actually simply do all of those with my spouse and my son, my son’s 14 years. So I feel he’s sufficiently old to get the worth out of this however how cool would that be if, as a household, we perceive one another’s enneagrams, we perceive one another’s Myers Briggs, their DISC profiles, man, what may that do to {our relationships}? So I’m simply considering out loud proper now however man, what a cool… I don’t suppose households try this sufficient, understanding the place the opposite individual’s coming from.

Ashley:
Yeah. I feel you consider it extra of like groups at your work-

Tony:
Enterprise.

Ashley:
… enterprise however not into your loved ones.

Nick:
Nicely, Tony, thanks. I imply, I do know I’m right here speaking to this viewers who has a particular curiosity and it is a little off that matter however boy, I feel if I’m simply going to be actually blunt, that’s the actual mom load of worth within the new sport is what you simply mentioned. I imply, I didn’t point out it firstly, I used to be going to however the best way I discovered it’s I discovered myself very out of the blue and really unexpectedly divorced and my life was simply upended and that’s when the enneagram got here into my life.
And I’ll inform you the primary factor I saved considering as I simply began dipping my toes after which digging is, I’m like, “I might’ve had a unique life if I’d have had the enneagram previous to,” I imply, if I may have gone again to my twenties, I might’ve had a totally completely different life and I imply higher. And the individuals round me would’ve had a unique life too and I feel, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that may pay, I can’t even start to inform you, I totally consider that’s my space of ardour for positive.

Ashley:
I see these and I don’t know a lot about this in any respect however like zodiac indicators or your horoscope, issues like that. I see issues on-line the place it’s like, “Oh, should you’re a Scorpio you match with an Aquarius,” I don’t even know if that’s one other one, I simply know I’m a Scorpio. And it’s like, you match nicely with that individual in enterprise smart and even relationship smart. Are you able to have a look at these varieties and there’s higher individuals that you simply’ll work with or it doesn’t even matter in any respect? As a result of I noticed within the one worksheet, there was the thoughts, the physique and the center and a few of them have been categorized. Are you able to go into that a little bit extra too?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. So one of many issues I actually love in regards to the enneagram too is, as a result of it’s treating us like individuals and never like laptop applications that we will type into various things, is that there’s the somatic piece. So you actually introduced that half up so our physique half and that’s the place we are inclined to course of every little thing in our lives. So the pinnacle varieties which is 5, six and 7. We actually, take the complete world in, we course of it and we do every little thing we do via our brains. And it not often goes any decrease and if it does, we’re not comfy with it. I’m one, I completely get that. And you then transfer into simply, which manner we’re going to go? We’ll go eight, 9 and one, these are the physique sort, the very backside and that’s the anger sort.
It comes from their stomach, it rages and somebody like a 9, you convey that as much as them you say, “Oh, you’re actually anger pushed.” And like, “No, I’m by no means offended,” that’s precisely it. They’re so good, their total life is pushed by not being offended. If there’s tumultuous scenario, they’re those who can slip their ft into everyone’s sneakers, make every little thing okay and transfer alongside. As a result of like, man, I simply don’t need any anger nevertheless it’s nonetheless anger pushed. After which there’s the center varieties which I feel all of us can intuitively perceive, they dwell their life via their feelings and the issues that make them really feel heat or not so heat. And so what’s fascinating is your query is, is there higher blended matches for enterprise relationships or private relationships?
And I feel on some stage there’s a pure tendency to seek out ourselves, a thinker and a doer and we all know that’s true. That a variety of the strongest partnerships perhaps the strongest partnerships ever. Apple, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, Jobs was clearly the thinker and Wozniak was clearly the doer and look what it did and so clearly, these are going to be two differing kinds. I’m guessing, Jobs was one thing like a seven and I’m guessing, that Wozniak was one thing like a 5.
Now, I don’t know however you’re most likely, going to seek out your self drawn to that. However I might problem the notion that ultimately should you’re each wholesome conscious of your sort construction, conscious of one another’s sort buildings, that there isn’t a mix that wouldn’t work. And I feel it’s about that dedication, that dedication to being the perfect clean you will be, being greatest six you will be. And I feel from there, that’s the place I like the enneagram is as a result of we’re all people and the enneagram permits for and encourages you to only be who you’re. And you’ll be two completely completely different individuals and each be sixes so I hope that solutions your query.

Ashley:
Yeah. It does, thanks.

Tony:
Nicely, one factor I need to touch upon actually rapidly, Nick. You apologize for speaking in regards to the private relationship side of the enneagram. However man, I feel that’s tremendous essential whilst all of us who’re investing in actual property, these of you which can be listening to this podcast and need to begin investing in actual property, you’re doing so as a result of you may have this image in your thoughts of what you need your life to be like.
And for a lot of of you there’s clearly, the monetary half the place you may have this monetary freedom, this monetary safety however I’m positive for everybody that’s listening, there’s additionally a relational a part of that image of your life as nicely. And it’s like, what good is constructing this massive monetary fort should you’re in there by your self? And I feel having the ability to actually perceive who you’re as an individual and the way you’re employed with different individuals is essential. My spouse and I, like I mentioned, we haven’t carried out this but however I undoubtedly, need to make her do it now. I say, make her do it. I imply, ask her to do it as a result of I’m positive, I can’t make my spouse do something.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:33:45] we already know who wears the pants in that family.

Tony:
Yeah. In the event you guys know my spouse, I can’t make her do something however we learn a ebook in our mid twenties, perhaps you realize it. It’s known as The 5 Love Languages and that ebook was tremendous useful for us as a pair as a result of it gave us a greater understanding of who the opposite individual was. And we nonetheless actually, use the language that we picked up in that ebook right now about how we work together with one another. So that is me extra so simply giving recommendation to everybody primarily based on what’s labored for me is, should you can perceive your associate, your romantic associate, your mum or dad, your pal, whoever it’s in a deeper manner, it actually does unlock a brand new stage in that relationship.

Ashley:
Tony, I feel that ebook even applies to enterprise relationships too. I’m going to an actual property investor’s marriage ceremony and there’s an entire group textual content going of, “His love language is reward giving, we now have to do one thing superior for him.” And everyone’s week is consumed, making an attempt to determine what reward to offer him so I feel it’s a option to present appreciation too, should you do associate with what any person’s love language is simply too and never simply in private relationships.

Nick:
If I can piggyback off of that, man, in case you are seeing the… And by the best way I used to be a love languages man too. After I say that I’ve been into all this stuff, I’ve been into all this stuff. You guys are speaking about, the love languages I dig it and I feel you’re seeing the worth of simply these 5 little, “Oh, reward giver,” or “Phrases of affirmation.” And also you see the worth in realizing that being aware of it after which, such as you mentioned, are you approaching your spouse in another way, Tony? Not consciously, however you realize. So simply on a second to second foundation, you’re. You’re not considering, “Oh, reward giving,” or no matter your spouse’s is, it’s simply there and also you simply know and so that you’re a greater individual to your spouse. And should you may increase that infinitely, I imply, orders of magnitude, that’s simply what the enneagram is however on an excellent richer, deeper stage.
And should you may perceive your spouse as a 4 my goodness, all of the little particulars, all of the nuances, all of the minutia, you’d be so ready to know these issues. And one different factor I simply need to add is you have been speaking about you guys are pushed to construct these castles as a result of you may have this image of a life you need to get to. And in working with pushed individuals such as you guys, one of many issues I most regularly work on is how do you do the love half and the life half when you’re on that prepare? As a result of you possibly can work so arduous and it’s for these individuals that you simply love. It’s not since you’re egocentric otherwise you’re ignoring them however man, it may be doable to simply try this. And so a number of the work is an understanding on the journey earlier than you get to that imaginative and prescient, how can we hold life working proper now in a very constructive, fulfilling manner? In order that’s one of many issues that the enneagram’s nice at.

Tony:
Man, Nick, that is the place the remedy session kicks in as a result of what you’re saying is one thing that I battle with, actually. I ended working my W-2 job again in 2020 however I nonetheless do discover myself working quite a bit however the motivation is completely different now earlier than is as a result of, “I wished to maintain my job, I wished the subsequent promotion, I wished a elevate.” Now, it’s like, “Shit, if I’m not working then who is aware of what’s going to occur to my enterprise?” And there’s this insatiable want to continue to grow as a result of in that progress, I really feel a way of safety. But additionally the explanation why I don’t ever need to return to a day job is as a result of I would like that freedom and that flexibility of time.
So I’ve that selection however a variety of days I’m selecting to actually make investments it into the enterprise. And what makes it much more tough is that I do know my spouse and my son, their love language is high quality time. So I’ve to be very cognizant of this drive that I’ve and ensuring that I’m maintaining it in test in order that I’m not pushed to the purpose that it decimate my relationships with the those who I like essentially the most. So man, it’s a very deep dialog however one which I’m glad that we’re having.

Nick:
Nicely, and I simply need to level out only for anyone who’s being launched to this proper now, no matter 20 minutes in the past, I mentioned, “Nicely, what’s sixes, what’s their emotional behavior, what’s their focus of consideration?” It’s safety in an unsafe world and it’s planning and all of the doubt and the da da. And man, as you’re speaking there, I’m like, “Geez, are you simply promoting the six factor on function?” Is it like, “I need to make it clear I’m a six,” since you actually simply mentioned all these issues. And the ability in that and what’s enjoyable about how correct that’s man, can you then deal with it so particularly, are you able to have a look at useless within the eye and begin mitigating its impression?
Whereas what are you going to do with the ENFP or INTJ, such as you mentioned you have been? How do you’re taking that as a instrument and be like, “I’m going to be higher.” However boy, would it not be simple so that you can have a look at the precise stuff you simply mentioned and know that’s a behavior and know that should you have been doing some other job in some other place on the earth, you’d nonetheless be scuffling with that actual factor. And that I feel it’s liberating as a result of it’s like, “Nicely, I’m not a slave to it and it’s additionally empowering,” since you’re like, “Now, I do know what it’s, I can go get it.” After which people who’re pushed like that, aren’t okay with it simply sitting there. As soon as, you realize what it’s, you’re going to need to go deal with it. I simply suppose it’s so [inaudible 00:39:11], I like it.

Tony:
Yeah.

Ashley:
And the truth that you’re very aware of what your loved ones wants from you that as an alternative of, “Nicely, I’m working to make us tons of cash so you possibly can go and purchase no matter you need,” the place that doesn’t matter to them, the place you’re discovering that steadiness of spending high quality time with them and being aware of that, I feel it’s simply an enormous factor.

Nick:
That’s additionally one other massive six factor, proper? It’s at all times, like I mentioned firstly, it’s much less about them and extra in regards to the individuals they love, each time.

Ashley:
That’s humorous. And I really feel such as you use the flawed phrases for me to convey this up as a result of I really feel prefer it’s on the flawed message. However whenever you care about any person, like I took on a brand new enterprise associate and the joy and simply him attending to stop his job was extra of a motivator for me than me being like, “Oh, I could make this a lot cash on this month.” I labored a lot tougher, I felt like as a result of I wished to say to him, “I instructed you may stop your job.” However the way you simply mentioned that individuals, you care about your pals, your loved ones, individuals, meaning one thing to you is a big motivator and also you care about that extra. I undoubtedly, determine with that as a six.

Nick:
Man, it goes again to that six factor of it’s typically and most frequently their precise household however like I mentioned, on the very starting of this, boy, sixes wish to make their very own households too. Like, “Yeah. You’re my household now.” And I’m guessing, I don’t know however I’m guessing, whoever this enterprise associate you may have now isn’t only a good enterprise individual, a tough employee, most likely, are all these issues. However I’m guessing, you have been excited as a result of, “That’s my household,” you’ve chosen this individual to be somebody in your circle versus simply, “Right here’s a enterprise alternative,” I’m guessing.

Ashley:
Yeah. And even Tony has introduced me into his household too should you have a look at his textual content messages, I’m pinned on the prime of the very choose few, the interior circle of household.

Nick:
I imply, we’re sitting with a {couples} part right here, it seems like.

Tony:
Nick, you shared so many good issues and I actually hope everybody that’s listening takes the time to exit and full an enneagram for themselves to allow them to get a greater understanding of their very own persona sort. However I don’t know, Nick, is there the rest we should always know in regards to the enneagram, the way it’s helpful earlier than we wrap issues up right here?

Nick:
I might simply throw out the 80/20 precept has by no means been extra true of something on the earth. You’re going to get 80% of the worth by simply placing 20% into this factor. And also you’ll simply be blown away. Now, my guess is that when you get that, you’ll suppose, “Holy cow, what else can I do with this?” And if that’s the case pursue, do it such as you do with something that’s a instrument in your life. However I promise you may have my phrase that should you simply do it a tertiary prime stage factor with this, you’ll already begin seeing simply superb payoffs in your life.

Ashley:
Superior. Nicely, thanks a lot, Nick. Are you able to inform everybody the place they will attain out to you or discover out some extra data?

Nick:
Positive. One of the best ways is simply NB, I’m Nick Baumgart so nbenneagram.com. There’s just a few assets there however principally it’s only a option to get ahold of me. After which once more, I might simply lead everyone as a lot as I may to The Narrative Enneagram to me, they’re simply the authority out on the earth. It’s the place I’ve realized nearly every little thing I do know. After which one final little factor, there are assessments and I feel the perfect one is that The Narrative Enneagram, you must pay them 10 bucks. However I might simply say, as a result of I discussed that we’re all linked to all of the numbers and we now have these wings and we now have these traces that we transfer to, taking a check it will probably begin to really feel a little bit bit like astrology, “Each single certainly one of these numbers seems like me.” And since to some extent that it’s.
So should you do take a check, I might say, just be sure you learn and there’s going to be one that basically nails you and never in a great way. You’re going to really feel like somebody known as you out in your crap and also you’re not going to love it that’s most likely, your precise sort construction. However there’s actually no alternative for being able to have somebody undergo a typing interview with you whether or not that’s me or not and having the ability to get the subtleties and the dialog that you simply guys talked about, the remedy session to actually get in there. So by all means, take a check however hold going.

Ashley:
Yeah, Nick, I’ve to say speaking to you was so a lot better. And like Tony mentioned, a remedy session the place for me to sit down down and take a check I might simply rush via it to get it over with. And it most likely, wouldn’t even find yourself being correct as a result of I might simply need to get it carried out and over with it, click on via every little thing [crosstalk 00:43:32].

Nick:
Or reply the best way you wished [crosstalk 00:43:34].

Ashley:
Yeah. So I feel it was much more intentional doing it head to head or Zoom to Zoom and getting to speak with you. So thanks for taking the time to do this with each of us.

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. That was nice.

Ashley:
I’m Ashley @wealthfromrentals and he’s Tony @tonyjrobinson on Instagram. And thanks guys a lot for becoming a member of us, we can be again on Wednesday with one other visitor. We’ll see you subsequent time and keep in mind sixes guidelines and others drool.

Nick:
I like it.