Earlier this week at a session on ‘honour’ killings, senior advocate Vrinda Grover requested: Can we please discover one other phrase to explain the homicide of younger individuals by their households for selecting to fall in love with somebody of a special caste or religion?
“Phrases matter,” Grover stated. “We want a brand new language.”
The 25-or so of us within the room nodded in settlement, however remained silent. We now have all grappled with the dilemma of discovering a extra applicable time period to explain this really heinous crime. To name it homicide doesn’t even start to explain what comes full of the burden of historical past, custom, and caste purity. Underlining all it is a society that fears the autonomy of grownup daughters, anticipating them to undergo male authority — father, brother, husband, son — but believes that household honour depends on them.
This week even the Supreme Court docket famous, “on the root of this crime is the deeply entrenched hierarchical caste system in India, and satirically, this most dishonourable act goes by the title of honour-killing.”
The Centre for Legislation and Coverage Analysis has a draft invoice referred to as The Freedom of Marriage and Affiliation and Prohibition of Honour Crimes invoice. And the one state in India that has a separate legislation, calls it the Rajasthan Prohibition of Interference with the Freedom of Matrimonial Alliances within the Title of Honour and Custom.
An origin story in stereotype
It’s hardly a secret that the phrases we use usually have their origin in gender. Hysteria comes from the Greek hystera, or uterus — therefore hysterectomy. There’s an historical medical perception that signs related to it are a results of the uterus detaching itself from its regular place.
Drugs has, luckily, superior however the affiliation of the phrase hysterical continues to explain the emotional state of 1 gender. Males are seldom hysterical (or overwrought, the opposite gendered phrase); they’re upset, indignant, outraged, agitated, livid, impassioned. You get the drift.
The double requirements of language are littered in all places. An assertive man is a fascinating creature, not a lot a girl who’s pushy or bossy. Girls are indecisive, males are thought-about or measured. Girls are compassionate and supportive. Males are level-headed and impressive.
Generally this double customary is handed off as reward. So, as an alternative of difficult gendered stereotypes that push ladies right into a disproportionate burden of care work, we’re praised as ‘multi-taskers’ or, ‘supermoms’ — which in response to me is an infuriating condescension.
In current many years there’s been a push-back in opposition to the stereotyping of language. Nonetheless, even right here, I have to observe that the inane and cutesy ‘eve-teasing’ stays a lazy media fall-back to explain the extra correct avenue sexual harassment.
Far too many amongst us use ‘girls’ as a praise (Thoughts you, ladies will just do fantastic). ‘Women’ is used to explain grownup younger ladies. My rule of thumb? In case you’re over 18, the authorized age of maturity, you then research in a ladies’s, not a woman’s school.
Maybe probably the most absurd use of woman and boy comes at marriage time, when anxious kin ask about what the ‘woman’ does or the place the ‘boy’ lives. Think about this: why are bachelors cool however spinsters, ugh, the article of pity and derision?
Enjoyable reality identified by @femalequotient: as soon as synonymous with unbiased girl, the phrase spinster turned an insult when society deemed that such ladies have been a menace?
When the #MeToo motion broke in India in 2018, many requested why the ladies hadn’t spoken up earlier. There’s a quite simple reply right here: ladies of my era had neither the authorized proper nor the language to specific ourselves. We relied on a whisper community of how such-and-such was a ‘creep’ who may make a ‘go’ and so must be averted.
Office sexual harassment is now a authorized safety, and now we have Bhanwari Devi to thank. For many who’ve forgotten, the social employee from Rajasthan had accused dominant caste males of raping her for making an attempt to forestall little one marriage in her village. The decide listening to the case completely wouldn’t consider her as a result of, in his thoughts, how might dominant caste males have even touched a dalit girl?
Bhanwari Devi nonetheless awaits justice; her case languishing within the Rajasthan excessive court docket. But, a whole era of Indian ladies owe her a debt of gratitude for having the ability to name out predatory bosses and colleagues.
[Readers, please help me answer Vrinda Grover’s question: what’s the appropriate term to replace ‘honour’ killings? Write to me at: namita.bhandare@gmail.com
