Step proper up women and gents, girls and boys and lay your eyes on the rarest and most harmful of creatures: New York’s Largest Liar.
Hailing from the wilds of Albany, this can be a conniving colossus of canards, a freak of fabrication, a behemoth of balderdash. We name it Andrew Cuomo.
Cautious, madam, cautious! Don’t get too near the bars, he’ll grope you.
Like his family members within the genus chamaeleo, the Cuomo’s capability to vary its look will astound you. Right here he pretends to be a average Democrat, an animal regarded as extinct.
However put him in a room with others of its variety, and abruptly his form shifts.
He as soon as promised to let New Yorkers revenue from fracking, however increase, he turned inexperienced, banned it, then madly shut down the Indian Level nuclear energy plant, driving up electrical energy prices for everybody.
One of many Cuomo’s most memorable charades was when he pretended to be the Hero of Covid. He constructed paper mache mountains, pontificated in regards to the science, then despatched scores of aged dad and mom to die in nursing houses, the place the virus ran wild.
Sir! Don’t be fooled! He’ll attempt to declare the federal authorities instructed him to do it. Extra of his lies! Congress truly instructed he be criminally charged. Sure, for perjury!
He was additionally the governor who didn’t have an issue with folks marching maskless and looting shops on the top of Covid — however stated that you simply couldn’t go to a bar until you ordered a sandwich.
Hey, he’s a liar — the lies don’t all the time have to make sense.
Younger woman, please, greatest hold your distance. He’s been recognized to forcibly kiss.
Oh, he’ll let you know that half was all a witch hunt, suggesting that he’s allowed to fondle girls as a result of he’s Italian. Sure, superb gentleman within the again, he did say that!
However know that an eight-month investigation by the Meeting discovered “overwhelming proof” he sexually harassed girls.
The Lawyer Basic discovered the identical. Legislators additionally famous that he abused his energy to make his workers assist with a e-book he was paid $5 million to “write.” Depraved, tricksy and false!
Now good folks, prepare. For the World’s Largest Liar is planning his most grand con but.
He goals to idiot the voters of New York Metropolis that he ought to be their mayor, that he’s probably the most wise, middle-of-the-road candidate there’s.
Evidently, don’t consider him.
Who! we ask. Who signed the justice “reforms” meaning you possibly can’t lock up criminals? Who modified the invention legal guidelines, so extra instances are thrown out?
Who’s the rationale the clerk at Duane Reade must unlock the toothpaste for you?
We’re pointing to him now! Why he’s a minimum of the person who stands earlier than you, Raggedy Andy, the fabulist, the misleader, the maligner.
He has price you cash, made your metropolis much less secure, bungled a historic pandemic and, we hear, steals lollipops from infants.
Folks of Gotham, he’s caged now, however don’t let him out. Ignore his delusions, dodge his hugs. You’ve got seen his true colours. We are able to’t let his lies harm us once more.
